Can't Get You Out Of My Head
by retroelectric
Summary: Himiko wants revenge on Ban. Seriously, madly. Crack fic galore!


**Title: **Can't Get You Out Of My Head

**By:** retroelectric

**Author's Note:** This is very weird.

**Warnings: **Crack! fic

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the characters from Get Backers. Sadly, I can only wish.

**Summary: **Himiko wants revenge on Ban. Seriously, madly. What's an (insane) girl to do?

* * *

Himiko wanted to kill Ban. Murder, exterminate, annihilate... those were the very words running through her mind at the moment. Who couldn't help but to think of killing that damn arrogant Jagan Master after what had happened in their mission just now? Gritting her teeth forcefully and hands balling up into tight fists, Himiko cursed Ban under her breath in every single profanity that she knew and felt Ban was most deserving of. The audacity of him!

And here he was, just a distance away from Himiko in the Honky Tonk caf? an arm thrown over Ginji's shoulder amiably and laughing at a joke Ginji made. A pure, sincere laughter which Himiko of course could not hear as she was imagining Ban was roaring like the Devil himself.

That was it, she decided. Ban had gone on long enough pretending that nothing happened back there. She wanted him to suffer in the most painful, grotesque way of all. She would not be using the Flame Perfume nor the Sleep Perfume on him now. No, that was far too nice. She needed something more drastic than those. Her hands roved over to her familiar Puppet Perfume and the wheels could be seen turning in her head as she schemed a most devious plan to make Ban suffer forever, with a little help from Natsumi. Everyone would be there to witness her revenge. Ginji, Natsumi, Paul, Hevn, Shido, Madoka, Juubei, Kazuki, Emishi, and last but not least, Akabane.

"Natsumi!" She hissed in the general direction of the teenage waitress. "Natsumi!" She hissed a bit louder, and finally caught the attention of the girl.

"Hai, what do you want?" the girl responded politely, coming over to Himiko's booth in the cafe.

"Here, have a seat." She paused at Natsumi's hesitancy. "I'm not going to bite, you know." Himiko watched as Natsumi sat down across her.

She gestured to Natsumi and then told her of her devious plan, and Natsumi's role in it. "...Your reward would be the most profitable, of course," Himiko added as an afterthought. Natsumi could be seen reconsidering as she leaned back into her seat.

After careful consideration, Natsumi agreed. "Yes, why not? It would be the funniest thing ever, to see what would happen!" She gave Himiko a sunny and bright grin. "Count me in!" Himiko gave her most evil grin and twiddled the little dangerous bottle in her fingers in reply.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Natsumi?" Himiko urged the waitress. "Go on, do it!" Natsumi saluted her in turn.

* * *

"Ban-san! I'm making you tea! Here it is -- oops!" Natsumi purposely dumped the tea into Ban's lap. Ban had little time to react as Himiko suddenly appeared behind him and held the dangerous Puppet Perfume right under his nose. Ban, of course, instinctively inhaled and Himiko grinned in the most fear-inducing manner as she put in the stopper back on the bottle and waited for things to happen.

The flurry of movement attracted the attention of everyone in the cafe All of them watched as Ban's face suddenly lost all emotion and his usually icy blue eyes turned into oddly glassy ones. He was under the spell, all right.

"B-ban-chan?" Ginji inquired, confused at what was going on. He felt the urge to shake Ban out of it, but wisely decided not to when his chocolate brown eyes met Himiko's evil ones and her finger on her mouth to silence him. Himiko then wisely stepped away and took a seat, intending to enjoy every single second of Ban's humiliation that he deserved very much.

Ban stood up from his seat as if on a puppet's string. Everyone was looking at him either feeling uncomfortable or highly amused. He posed in a girly manner, snapping his fingers and giving a seductive look as music magically came on. It was a a catchy dance tune and Ban was dancing in a surprisingly agile way to it, his body moving sexily to the music. Meanwhile, a certain Shido Fuyuki was staring at Ban's antics open-mouthed, eyes glued to Ban's undulating hips. Ban removed his purple glasses, as if to emphasize his glazed stare onto everyone in the cafe Ginji frowned possessively at Shido's expression and then was momentarily startled and drawn to Ban's performance again as he began to sing.

_La la la_

_La la la la la_

_La la la_

_La la la la la_

Holy fuck, Shido thought, eyes roving all over his body. Ban made a pretty damn good male Kylie Minogue. His voice was definitely something! Had he known that that hebi yarou was such a good dancer and singer to boot...

_I just can't get you out of my head_

_Boy your loving is all I think about_

_I just can't get you out of my head_

_Boy it's more than I dare to think about_

Ginji's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't be seeing this, hearing this, this wasn't real... Maybe Ban-chan had given him a Jagan, and all this was a dream. Nooo Ban-chan couldn't be this sexy, he would be distracted by him for life, and he wouldn't be able to do his dakkanya jobs right...

_La la la_

_La la la la la_

Himiko looked around to see almost everyone staring at Ban, no, not staring, devouring Ban with their eyes as Ban continued to sing and dance in that inebriating way. Maybe Himiko had done something wrong. It was too late to reverse its effects, though.

_I just can't get you out of my head_

_Boy your loving is all I think about_

_I just can't get you out of my head_

_Boy it's more than I dare to think about_

Ban shook his delectable rear to his audience and his undulating hips moved to the beat of the pounding music. Hevn's hands became slack and her cup full of thankfully cold coffee came crashing to the floor, some of the coffee spilling down her blouse. Not that she cared, though, for she was fully intent on the way Ban moved with his raw sexuality that was kind of turning her on now.

_Every night_

_Every day_

_Just to be there in your arms_

Ban's voice had reached a certain kind of huskiness that only accomplished singers could have made. Beads of sweat trickled down Akabane's face as he noticed the pout on his face and the hands wandering all over his body. Punctuating the end of the verse, Ban completely ripped off his shirt and his hands trailed down the length of his lightly muscled body.

_Won't you stay_

_Won't you lay_

_Stay forever and ever and ever and ever..._

Ban teasingly took a finger into his mouth and sucked, wetting it, much to the delight of Shido and Ginji, and practically everyone else in the room. His come-hither look had everyone literally panting within seconds as he continued to sing.

_There's a dark secret in me_

_Don't leave me locked in your heart_

HOLY SHIT, ITS THE POUT AGAIN, Paul wanted to scream. The pout, oh, it was just so damn arousing. He wanted to, no, needed to touch... The pout was marked again by a shushing motion of his finger and lip, and a thrusting motion of his hips, that was reminiscent to..

_Set me free_

_Feel the need in me_

_Set me free_

_Stay forever and ever and ever and ever..._

Emishi wasn't concentrating on Ban's singing. To him, it was just a blur of sweet words that he did not quite care about. He was staring at the way Ban was thrusting his hips, once, twice, thrice, before trailing his hands over his still clothed inner thigh.

As if the gods above answered his plea, Ban slowly unbuttoned his dark pants and thrusted his hips at the same time.

_La la la_

_La la la la la_

_La la la_

_La la la la la_

The zipper was finally undone. Shit, Ban was such a tease! Shido wanted to go over there and simply rip off those pants off him, and see his 'goods'. Damn him, now he was feeling very, very aroused. As was everyone else in the room.

The music finally faded away and it seemed as if Ban was slowly snapping out of the trance, much to the dismay of everyone in the cafe His eyes unclouded as an aftermath of the effects of the perfume. He blinked and shook his head as if to clear it.

Ban was very confused as to why everyone was staring at him as if his body was the most delectable dessert ever. He looked down to see he was shirtless, and his pants were undone and were nearly sliding off his slim hips. A blush formed on his face as he quickly and embarrassingly did up his pants, frowning as he tried to recount what had happened. Still, everyone's eyes were on him, and he could feel their heat and lust in those gazes as if they were laser beams.

He looked up from his position and noticed Himiko's ugly and smug face grinning evilly at him.

And then everything fell into place and Ban realized Himiko had played a dirty and very, very, low trick on him.

"HIMIKO, I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" Ban screamed in his most betrayed and scary voice ever.

* * *

**  
FIN, or TBC?**

**Anyway, watch Kylie's music video of this song, and you'll know. What: I'm not going to tell you. Figure it out!  
**


End file.
